Lyrics
I got no excuses
For all of these goodbyes
Call me when it's over
'Cause I'm dying inside
Wake me when the shakes are gone
And the cold sweats disappear
Call me when it's over
And myself has reappeared
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why
I do it every, every, every time
It's only when I'm lonely
Sometimes I just wanna cave
And I don't wanna fight
I try and I try and I try and I try and I try
Just hold me, I'm lonely
How dare I go back to these drugs & my ways
When I only had a roughed up couple of days
All these years being sober I just blew it away
I stare at my reflection looking blue in the face
Quickly losing hope, Slowly losing my friends
We've been down this road but we cruise it again
I feel bad for my family that's watching me fall
& now my ex co-workers when the boss of me calls
I worked too hard to lose it all like this
I'm flirting with the dark when I fall like this
They say it's just a mental illness & it's all in your mind
I'm dealing with chronic depression and I don't know why
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why
I do it every, every, every time
It's only when I'm lonely
Sometimes I just wanna cave
And I don't wanna fight
I try and I try and I try and I try and I try
Just hold me, I'm lonely
Isolated in seclusion, choosing to be selfish, thoughts of suicide every time that I felt this roaming all alone as I wonder where my help is God up in the throne why do I feel so helpless & lonely, you know me, so show me but please don't scold me
I relapsed and it hurts the soul
but you're like a loving Dad that is merciful
Forgive me for the drugs I consume in this cell
It's easier to do when I'm not doing too well
I'm having Faith that you will not forsake me & bail
& praying that you won't let Satan take me to Hell.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why
I do it every, every, every time
It's only when I'm lonely
Sometimes I just wanna cave
And I don't wanna fight
I try and I try and I try and I try and I try
Just hold me, I'm lonely
Momma, I'm so sorry, I'm not sober anymore
And daddy, please forgive me for the drinks spilled on the floor
To the ones who never left me
We've been down this road before
I'm so sorry, I'm not sober anymore
I'm sorry to my future love
For the man that left my bed
For making love the way I saved for you inside my head
And I'm sorry for the fans I lost
Who watched me fall again
I wanna be a role model
But I'm only human
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why
I do it every, every, every time
It's only when I'm lonely
Sometimes I just wanna cave
And I don't wanna fight
I try and I try and I try and I try and I try
Just hold me, I'm lonely
She's back in the fame but she lost her some fans
Disappointed at the pain that she caused in the fam
by going out with a bang like with pots & some pans
with a stab to the vein that had to cost her some bands, man.
My prayers go to all the vixens that are struggling
that face affliction with addictions that their Juggling
with the thought their life is coming to a subtle end
They look for love but it's the Devil that their cuddling.
Yeah, it wasn't her intention to let go instead of holding on like extensions.
She became bitter from un forgiven offenses,
which led to depression, rolling scrolling through her mentions.
I want to let you know that you're more than enough
It don't matter what he said, I know you're tough
It's embarrassing
to you that you are here again
but forgive yourself & then your vision will be clear again.
I'm sorry that I'm here again
I promise I'll get help
It wasn't my intention
I'm sorry to myself